Eleven friends and I took to the poles last night…seriously. With all my grace and athleticism I pole danced.
Now that you have stopped laughing I will tell you that we had a great time and the couple of cocktails before class helped us to loosen up a little. We were certainly a little timid initially, but after our first fireman pop up we clawed one another to get back onto one of the four poles. Okay, slight exaggeration, there were no fights, although I may have accidentally kicked the other Cindy in an overly aggressive boomerang hold. In my defense I think she kind of liked it.
Some key take aways from class include the below:
- Strippers must build up an amazing tolerance to bruising. If you don’t believe me, please see the photo I have included in this post.
- Nothing makes a girl feel sexier than realizing how awkward she is when pole dancing.
- Alcohol does the exact opposite of what you think it will while pole dancing…. only in a sober state do you realize how awful you really looked on the pole.
- “Pole kisses” are just stripper code for bruises…no matter how cute they sound you don’t want them.
- My muscles are sore, I am yet again reminded why I don’t workout.
One of the girls took lots of pictures of us so you may get a special double-bonus stripper post with a pic of me on a pole…but that’s only if I don’t look too fat/skanky/awkward/ugly/slutty/etc etc
Now I just need to find a park with a fireman’s pole so Finley can play while I practice my caterpiller this spring.