There are stories that your parent-friends warn you will happen once you have children. Most new parents think that these things won’t happen to them. The first surprise to a new parent is generally the around the clock feedings of a newborn and then the rest of the urban legends neatly unfold…your boobs leak at an inopportune moment, you get pooped on, pee in your face (hopefully not in your mouth), permanent marker on the leather couch, you go to work with vomit or some sort of food in your hair….the list goes on, just update it with some type of bodily fluid somewhere that it shouldn’t be.
Trust me, we have had our share of baby grossness, just ask our financial planner when Finley decided to have the most explosive diaper ever during our appointment. But last night she took it to a whole new level….
We had a delightful lazy Sunday. It started with pancakes…how bad of a day could it be? Actually it was a great day, Finley behaved for the most part and we didn’t leave the house. The little angel took a bath, we even had a bathtub dance party with The Killers. After her baths we have to put aquaphor on her entire body for her eczema. As you may be aware, aquaphor is very greasy so I like to let her run around nekkid for a bit before putting any clothes on her…..big mistake…HUGE. She generally plays on her Elmo table while de-greasing and I noticed that she was just standing there for a second, odd. I didn’t really think anything of it, then it hit me like a ton of bricks that she was in poop freeze mode. Yup, my kid was about to drop a D-slice on the floor. Before I could intercept the poop and the floor she pooped. Right on the floor.
*You can thank me later for not including a pic in this post.