No, this isn’t a spam message that you randomly get because you visited some questionable websites when you were a little “lonely” one night. (sidenote, I got a spam-mail today and the subject was “Want a King Banana Down There?”-do you really need to ask? and where exactly is “down there”?)
Back to the subject at hand… girth. Some of you may be aware of my movement to get the word girth into common vernacular. Well, I think it’s finally happening. I have been working on it for probably 2 years now, so this is very rewarding indeed. I honestly don’t understand why the term girth is mainly used when describing penis-wanger-dong-you get the drift right? It really means anything with large circumference, but alas the word is primarily used for wieners–WHY??? Just last night the Hubs was watching Dual Survivor and the hard-ass army guy said that he needed to widdle some of the girth off of a branch. I am not sure what the non-girthy branch was needed for, but he used the term girth and for that I thank you hard-ass army guy. Hey shoeless hippie guy, what do you bring to the table?
I ask you, my tens of readers, will you join me in my crusade? Try to use girth or girthy as often as possible-perhaps at work? school? a party? Can you say it with a straight face while shopping for…. say, a cucumber, salami, how about an eggplant? Your fellow Americans (okay, just me) thank you!